Helping Athletes Build Confidence That Doesn’t Crumble
By: Jordan Urso, Mental Health Counselor
Take a moment to imagine this: You are on the soccer field playing against your rival. You are dribbling down the field and see your teammate wide open in front of the goal. You go to pass them the ball and next thing you know, a defender is there and steals it, creating a counterattack and your rival scores instead. Almost instantly, your mind spirals. I can’t believe I messed that up. You replay the mistake over and over again, feel responsible for the goal, and start worrying about what your teammates and coach are thinking. In that moment, self-doubt creeps in and your confidence drops. If this sounds familiar, you are not alone. Mistakes are an inevitable part of sport. What often impacts athletes the most isn’t the mistake itself, but the internal response that follows. When self-doubt takes over, attention shifts away from the game, the body tightens, and it becomes harder to stay present for the next play.
Many athletes struggle with self-doubt, especially in high-pressure moments. Their confidence becomes dependent on performance, minutes played, or feedback from coaches and teammates. The problem with performance-based confidence is that it’s fragile and one mistake can shatter it. Internal confidence, on the other hand, is steadier and a skill that can be built. It’s built on trust: trust in your preparation, trust in your ability to adjust, and trust that you can stay present even when things don’t go perfectly.
Skills to help build confidence and perform through self-doubt:
Shift from outcome focused to what can be controlled:
Focusing on outcomes like scoring, winning, or approval increases pressure and anxiety. Instead, bring attention back to what you can control: effort, positioning, communication, and decision-making. This keeps the mind engaged in the present moment and the body ready to compete.
Use neutral self-talk:
Positive thinking isn’t always realistic in high-pressure moments. Neutral self-talk helps athletes stay grounded without judgment. Simple phrases like “Next play,” “Stay with it,” or “Do your job” interrupt negative spirals and bring focus back to the task at hand.
Borrow Confidence from your preparation:
On tough days, confidence doesn’t come from how you feel, it comes from what you’ve already done. Practices completed, reps taken, and time invested all count as evidence. When doubt shows up, athletes can lean on their preparation rather than waiting to feel confident again.
3-Step Reset Tool after a mistake:
1. Create a Cue Word: This is any short neutral phrase that grounds you like “Next play”, or “Reset”,
2. Add a Physical Cue: This is any quick thing you can do in the moment like shrug your shoulder or fix your ponytail
3. Refocus: Identify one controllable in the next play. (Defend my mark, Find open space, etc..)
This entire reset can take less than five seconds, but it can prevent one mistake from becoming more.
Self-doubt doesn’t mean you aren’t confident, it means you care. The goal isn’t to eliminate doubt entirely, but to learn how to compete through it. When athletes develop internal confidence and effective mental tools, mistakes become moments to respond—not reasons to shut down. Confidence isn’t about never messing up. It’s about trusting yourself to keep going when you do.
When Sports Counseling Can Help
Athletes may benefit from sports counseling if they notice:
Avoiding practices or competitions
Extreme fear of making mistakes
Self-worth tied closely to performance
Difficulty bouncing back after setbacks
Persistent negative self-talk
Struggles related to injury or return to play
Sports counseling isn’t about fixing an athlete, it’s about strengthening mental skills the same way physical skills are trained. Athletes who seek support often gain tools for confidence, focus, emotional regulation, and identity beyond performance. Reaching out for support is a sign of commitment to growth.